12 weeks old and enjoying the warmth!

Where does the time go?  It feels like just yesterday that we were freezing our buns off in the midst of a miserable winter and I was sending my mom out to buy Bo more newborn sleepers.  Now, it’s hot and humid (no complaints here!) and I’m frantically digging out Littleman’s summer baby clothes so Bo doesn’t have to sweat it out in his pants and long-sleeved onesies!

Baby Bo is almost 12 weeks old.  I’m feeling really good and, while we don’t quite have a schedule or routine going, we still manage to be pretty busy during the day.

Now that the weather is nice, I’m walking a ton.  I love my stroller and can walk happily for hours.  Bo is (usually) just as happy as I am to be out with the stroller.  It’s a good way for me to get some exercise while he gets some napping.  Win win!

After one of our walks yesterday, Bo was still asleep so I decided to plant some of the flowers that we bought for our front garden.  We had just walked home from our mommy and baby fitness class, so I figured I might as well get even more dirty and sweaty before I showered.  I sure am feeling it today!  I’m not sure what hurt me more – the exercise class or the gardening!  Either way, my poor body is very sore and I am very tired.  I’m using today’s rain as a nice excuse to stay inside and play with my baby boy while I rest my aching muscles.

18 weeks

It was well into the day today before I realized that it’s Wednesday, which means another week has gone by.  My baby is supposedly 6 inches long now – the size of a mango.  That’s getting pretty big! 

D returned home from his hiking trip, which was a nice treat for Littleman and me. Having him gone – and completely out of touch – for so long was really tough. 

I’ve also been thinking a lot about a good friend of mine, who has been TTC since 2009.  She finally started the IVF process and has her first transfer today.  I really, really hope this works for her.  She deserves it.

So, on to the 18 week update…

Symptoms:  Feeling pretty ok this week, aside from the exhaustion.  Going to bed (with my awesome pillow) is my favourite time of day. 

My skin still really sucks.  I was looking in the mirror this morning and cursing my ugly chin.  Too many red spots and not much I can do about it.  I hate acne.

Clothing: Getting dressed continues to be a challenge but I’m doing my best.  I hit up the one and only maternity store I could find in the downtown area today and it was a bit of a bust.  Where the hell do people shop if they don’t live in the ‘burbs?  I did purchase another pair of leggings to try and I’m hoping that they’ll stay up on my belly a bit better than the last pair.  I also got a pair of maternity yoga pants because I don’t want to wreck my good ones by stretching them out.

I still have some items of clothing on my wish list but I’ll need to find some time to get out shopping.  I really want some skinny jeans and long tops/tunics.  Other than that, I think I can make do with what I have.

Fetal movement:  So, as of yesterday, I was starting to get really nervous about the lack of movement.  Aside from a couple of random flickers, I haven’t felt much kicking or movement at all.   I know from my last ultrasound report that I have an anterior placenta, so I was really hoping that was the reason that I couldn’t feel any kicking.

Then, last night as I was lying in bed reading, I felt something.  It was stronger than anything I’d felt to date.  I put my hand on my belly and waited, hoping it would happen again.  It did!  And this time it was hard enough that I actually felt it on my hand!!  It didn’t continue for very long, but I was so happy and relieved.  This morning, starting around 4 a.m., there was definitely some flip-flopping going on in there.  I will happily be woken up by movement if it means Bo is alive and well in there!!

17 weeks

Baby Bo is the size of a sweet potato today!  Holy cow, that’s getting big.  No wonder I’m struggling to get dressed everyday.  This past week has been a challenge for a couple of reasons, so I’m looking forward to moving ahead another week.  My husband has been away (with no phone or internet access!) so I’ve been alone with a toddler for over a week.  He returns tonight, so I think things will be looking up.

Symptoms:  I’ve been having a lot of headaches lately, which is a total pain in the… head.  Sometimes Tylenol with a coffee will do the trick, but most of the time I just have to suffer through it.  I’m also friggin’ exhausted.  Where or where is my second trimester burst of energy?

Clothing: So, I’m full on into the maternity clothes now.  The weather turned cold so there was no way I could keep wearing my stretchy summer dresses.  I wore a pair of my old maternity dress pants earlier this week, which are definitely too big but at least they were comfortable.

I also purchased a few new things, including some maternity leggings.  I loved the idea of them, but they weren’t as amazing as I had hoped.  I found that they drooped in the crotch area as I walked, much like my maternity tights do (which reminds me, I must write about my maternity tights experience sometime!)  If anyone has any particular brand of maternity leggings to recommend, please let me know.  If I could find a pair that fits well, I think I could live in them for the next five months!

Fetal movement: Aside from some friendly little pokes from Bo on Puppet’s due date, I haven’t felt much movement.  Sometimes I think I feel something, but when I sit still and pay attention, there’s nothing.  I’m really hoping to feel some regular movement soon.

Yumminess:  I have to take a moment to mention the few things that I’ve eaten/drank this week that were SO good.  I’m totally loving pink lemonade these days.  I drink a ton of water and it’s been nice to have another drink to mix things up a bit.  I also just discovered (I know, I’m totally behind on this) Starbucks’ Pumpkin Spice Latte.  I’m currently enjoying a decaf right now and it is delish!  Finally, I enjoyed a plate of deep-fried pickles for lunch the other day and I’m pretty sure they were the best things I’ve ever eaten.  Ever.

16 weeks

Although my iPhone tells me my baby is the size of a turnip (or a pear, depending on the app) this week, I feel like it is much bigger.  My belly has definitely “popped” and there is no hiding the fact that I am expecting.  We’ve started to share our news, although I’m still only telling people on an “as needed” basis.  No email announcements, no Facebook declarations.

Here’s what’s been going on with me over the past week:

Symptoms:  Physically, my symptoms are still coming and going.  I still get hit with random waves of nausea (for example, right at this very moment, I feel like I could puke.)  Boobs are still a bit sore.  I’m still plagued by fatigue.  Sleeping is becoming more uncomfortable, with my back and hips starting to get a bit sore.  Luckily I still had my trusty pillow from my first pregnancy!

Clothing: Getting dressed has become a bit of an issue.  I caved and pulled out my maternity clothes, only to find that the pants are all massive.  Totally stretched out.  I guess that’s what happens when you wear them right up to 39 weeks gestation.  I dragged myself into the mall to see if I could find a pair of pants that fit.  I felt nervous being in the maternity sections, like somehow I would jinx myself.  But I knew I had to get something.  I ended up with one pair of black skinny jeans.  The weather subsequently warmed right up to summer heat wave temperatures, so I’ve been able to get away with my stretchy summer dresses and skirts this week.

Fetal movement: I think I’ve (maybe!) been feeling the baby move.  The past couple of nights (or more like very early in the mornings) I’ve woken up and, as I lay in bed, I’ve felt a couple of little pokes.  I’ve tried to lie very still in the evenings to see if I feel anything, but no such luck.  I’m hoping that I’ll start feeling more regular (or at least more obvious) movement sometime soon.

An old friend

Since my husband is away, I decided to invite someone to join me in my bed last night.  This guest is long and slim, but comfy and good for snuggling with.  As with any good bedmate, this guest spent the night between my legs.  It took a bit of time to get comfortable, but it wasn’t our first time sleeping together so we got back into our usual position pretty quickly.

Welcome back, pregnancy pillow! 

I know it’s still early in the pregnancy, but I am already finding sleep to be uncomfortable.  My hips and lower back are starting to get sore and I’ve been waking up a lot in the night to roll over and try different sleeping positions.  Then I remembered the body pillow that I had stuffed up onto the highest shelf of my closet after Littleman was born.  I pulled it out last night and am so grateful that I did! 

The pregnancy fatigue is still hanging around and I need every bit of sleep that I can get.  Being comfortable in bed makes a huge difference and wrapping myself around a body pillow seems to help me settle down.  Bring on the sleep!

12 weeks

With my first two pregnancies, reaching 12 weeks felt like such a big milestone.  It just doesn’t feel the same this time around.  Knowing that my last baby passed away around 12w5d (and after looking perfect on the NT scan) I feel like these next couple of weeks are going to be nerve-wracking. 

To be honest, my nerves have been getting the best of me for the past week.  My nausea has definitely subsided quite a bit, although it’s not completely gone (which, I admit, is a relief).  My first OB appointment is tomorrow and I’m definitely having some anxiety about that.  I’ve already spoken to Dr. P a couple of times during this pregnancy due to the early infections and the subchorionic bleed, but this will be the first time I see him.  His office hasn’t given me my ultrasound appointment yet, but I expect it will be sometime in this next week as well.  Since I don’t have an ultrasound scheduled for tomorrow, I sure hope Dr. P can find the heartbeat with the Doppler.  I really need that reassurance right now.

Symptoms are starting to lessen in general.  It seems like the worst was from 8-11 weeks and things have gotten a bit better since then.  I hope that’s not a bad sign…

Nausea: Some days I have none at all.  When it does show up, it’s back to the evenings only, rather than all day.

Vomiting: None to date.

Food cravings or aversions: I’ve found this incredibly delicious kale smoothie that I buy from a juice bar near the office.  It’s SO good.  I’ve had it two days in a row and I want another one RIGHT NOW.  I suppose that’s better than wanting a poutine everyday. But don’t get me wrong, I could totally eat a poutine right now too.

Aches and Pains: Boob pain is off and on.  Lower back has been a bit sore at the end of the day (could be a symptom of returning to work after vacation, rather than a pregnancy symptom!)

Fatigue:  Littleman finally slept through the night last night after a couple weeks of nightly waking.  I still get hit with extreme tiredness in the mid-afternoon and feel pretty lousy by the time I get home from work.  I’m trying to go to bed as early as possible but it doesn’t seem to help very much.

Other:  My stomach is still a bit of a disaster.  I miss my good old regular poos.  (Sorry, but it’s true!)  I’m usually either cramping due to being all bunged up or having loose stools.  Nothing in between.  I’m also starting to get “thicker” around the middle.  This morning, I had try three skirts before I found one that I could zip up.

11 weeks

I missed my 11 week symptom check-in yesterday because I was feeling like total crap all day.  We’re on vacation this week, which means I can get more rest and don’t have to pretend I feel good for the sake of my work colleagues.  Unfortunately, I feel pretty shitty most days so haven’t been able to totally enjoy being on holidays.

For the past few days, I’ve been reeling from the news of my sister’s pregnancy.  I think it’s finally starting to sink in.  I’m hoping that the next couple of weeks go by quickly and that I’ll feel a little more relaxed (and able to process everything) once I’m into the second trimester.

Symptoms-wise, things haven’t really changed much this week…

Nausea:  The nausea has been pretty intense this week.  It will hit me at any time of the day, so I can never really plan accordingly.  Some mornings are ok, others are pretty bad.  I feel pretty consistently bad every evening though.

Vomiting: None to date.

Food cravings or aversions: I was dying for this cream cheese/jalapeno dip that my sister makes.  She brought it to the farm on the long weekend and I gobbled it up.  I made another batch for our friends who came to visit.  Soooo good! 

Aches and Pains: I still have randomly sore boobs.  Last night the left one was throbbing, but sometimes they feel relatively normal.  I’ve had a headache for the past two days, which is major pain (no pun intended!)  Tylenol is useless, so I’m just getting used to dealing with the pain.

Fatigue: Still really brutal.  We had a rough week of Littleman being up in the night every couple of hours.  Luckily, being on vacation means I can nap during the day.  I feel exhausted pretty much all the time, whether I nap or not. 

Other:  My stomach/bowel issues seem to be getting better and I’ve definitely been more “regular”.  I’ve started to notice that I’m getting quite bloated these days – especially by later in the day.

10 weeks

Double digits!  I can’t really believe I’m 10 weeks today.  What a rollercoaster this has been so far.  After the craziness of last week, I really tried to stay positive this week and so far I’m feeling good about how things are going.  Being positive doesn’t come all that naturally to me (I’m a chronic worrier) so I’m pretty proud of myself right now!

In the last week, my symptoms have really kicked into high gear and my evening sickness morphed into more of an all-day sickness.  My belly has been pretty bloated, enough that D and I actually argued about whether or not I was “showing.”  I say it’s just really bad bloat but he thinks it’s too big to be bloating.  Obviously, I’m right.

Nausea:  I feel OK when I wake up in the morning.  I eat something small before I leave for work and then have a bigger breakfast when I get to my desk.  Mid-morning is when the nausea has been starting this week.  Afternoons and evenings are pretty bad too.  I always drink a ton of water, but I’m starting to notice that, by the afternoon, sipping water makes me gag a bit.

Vomiting: None to date.

Food cravings or aversions: No real change here.

Aches and Pains: The boob pain has actually let up a bit.  They still look pretty swollen and veiny but aren’t as excruciatingly sore as they were a couple of weeks ago.

Fatigue:  Killer.  I’m so tired all the time.  It doesn’t help that Littleman is getting his molars and has been up a million times in the last couple of nights.  I really need to sleep through the night. 

Other:  My bowel issues continue, which is a total pain.  I actually bought myself some baby food prunes the other day but haven’t been able to get up the courage to try eating them.  My skin is pretty bad again this week, especially on my chin.

Extreme fatigue and other people’s babies

Over the past couple of weeks, the pregnancy fatigue has kicked into high gear.  I’m not just tired, but downright exhausted.  By shortly after lunch each day, I start yawning those massive yawns that cause huge tears to spring to my eyes.  I drag my body home after work and attempt to feed my family dinner, usually ending up on the couch before the end of the meal.  I go to bed by 8:00 p.m. whenever I possibly can and, even then, I find getting up in the morning to be excruciating.

I vaguely recall feeling like this with Littleman’s pregnancy.  I remember being in bed when it was still light out and hearing the neighbourhood kids playing outside.  I guess the difference was I didn’t have an active toddler to keep up with at the time.

Thankfully, this weekend I had the chance to get some rest.  My parents were amazingly helpful and took Littleman on some errands on Saturday morning (a visit to the farmers market and a stop at the tractor dealership!), leaving me alone at the farm to “take it easy.”  It was amazing.  I lay on the couch for a while, then dragged myself into the shower.  After getting dressed, I made myself comfortable on a different couch and read my book until they returned.  After lunch, I put Littleman down for his nap and then crawled into bed for my own two-hour nap.  Dreamy!

In other news, I survived my first birth announcement since my miscarriage in March.  A friend of mine had a baby boy on Friday.  I knew the announcement would be coming at any point and worried about how sad I would feel, knowing that my original due date would be approaching.  We had been excited about our babies being close in age and being on maternity leave together. 

Surprisingly, hearing the news  wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be.  I’m very happy for her.  Of course, I couldn’t help thinking about the little one we lost, but knowing that Bo is hanging in there and continuing to grow helped me feel better.  There are a few more babies expected to arrive over the next month or so, which means I was going to have to face this sooner or later.  I’m sure that actually seeing the babies in person may be a bit tougher, but I’m feeling stronger these days and I know I can handle it now.  As long as I can stay awake!