This really can happen…

Have you ever watched the show I didn’t know I was pregnant?  I’ve seen it a few times but it always drives me nuts.  How can someone not know they are pregnant for an entire gestational period???  How could someone sit down on the toilet and push out a baby???

I was reading the newspaper yesterday and came across this article: Shocked Ottawa woman gives birth at home not realizing she was pregnant.

So, clearly, these things actually happen.  But, as someone who is pregnant for the third time, I find it really, really hard to imagine.  I know that some people have extremely irregular periods so may not notice the absence of a regular menstrual cycle.  I’ve read that some pregnant ladies spot throughout their pregnancy, so thinking you are getting a monthly period is plausible.  And I accept that many women don’t get any sort of morning sickness (myself included with my pregnancy that ended in miscarriage).

But how someone can carry an eight pound human inside them without knowing kind of blows my mind.  At 22 weeks pregnant (where I am right now) the average weight of a fetus is less than one pound.  And, even with a baby that tiny inside of me, there is no way I look anything but pregnant.

Perhaps (maybe?) I could convince myself that the movement I’m feeling inside my belly is gas or some other digestive disorder if I didn’t know any better.  And with an anterior placenta, it definitely takes longer to feel things.  But by the later days of my pregnancy with Littleman, I could actually see parts of his body popping out against my belly – an elbow, a heel, etc.  If I didn’t know I was pregnant, I would have completely freaked out, thinking that my organs were trying to escape or something.

My apologies to anyone who has been through this – I don’t mean to make light of it.  In fact, if you have been through this, I’d love to hear about it.  It is absolutely fascinating to me.  I suspect that most of us would absolutely love to stop by the bathroom and pop out a fully developed surprise baby.  If it meant not having to stress about heartbeats and ultrasounds and epidurals or dealing with fatigue and nausea and waddling, then it sounds pretty good to me!

Scary day

Yesterday morning, at 8w1d, I got up just after 6:00 a.m. as usual.  I went into the bathroom to start my morning routine.  That is where things got scary.  When I wiped after my pee, I noticed I was spotting.  It was dark brown and kind of stringy, but there was a fair amount of it.

My heart started pounding and I started to sweat.  I could feel myself getting dizzy, so I booted it back to the bedroom to lie down for a minute.  I was absolutely terrified.  How could this be happening?

After lying there for a couple of minutes and taking some deep breaths, I started to feel a bit better and was able to get myself moving again.  D was at work and I had to get Littleman up and to daycare.  I had a quick shower, called in sick to work and left a message for my OB’s office.  Somehow I managed to get Littleman fed, dressed and out the door.

I came back home and hit the couch.  I logged on to my work computer remotely, but my concentration just wasn’t there so I didn’t get much done.

The OB’s office called back just before 9:00.  They wanted me to get an ultrasound, so emailed me a requisition.  I was able to get an appointment nearby for 2:30 p.m., which left me with a few hours to kill.  Between trips to the bathroom to check on the spotting (which, for the most part had tapered off) I watched a couple episodes of Big Brother on my PVR.  It’s an awful show but I kind of love it anyway.  It was definitely a decent distraction.

D called to say he was coming home from work to go to the appointment with me.  I know how hard it is for him to get out of work so I really, really appreciated it.  When I found out about my mmc back in March, D was busy so my mom had taken me to the hospital.  I can’t imagine having been completely alone.

Anyway, as it got closer to the appointment time, I got more and more nervous.  I chugged the required 1/2 litre of water, which didn’t help the horrible feeling in my stomach.

Luckily they took me in pretty quickly when we arrived at the ultrasound clinic.  The technologist (thank goodness) mumbled something almost immediately when she put the wand on my belly, along the lines of “I’ll just look a bit more and then show you the baby.”

After a pretty quick abdominal ultrasound, she let me pee (best feeling ever!) and then did a transvaginal ultrasound.  That one took a lot longer but then, finally, I got to see my sweet little Bo.  There he/she was, looking much more like a real baby and with a nice strong heartbeat flickering away at 170 bpm!  The tech said the baby was measuring 8w1d (perfect!).  She gave me a printout of the ultrasound and sent me on my way, saying the doctor would get the results.

Bo at 8w1d

Bo at 8w1d

So, I still have no idea what caused the spotting but I am so incredibly relieved that Bo is still in there and apparently growing as expected.  Hopefully, I’ll hear from Dr. P’s office soon so I’ll know for sure if there is anything to worry about.  But, I’m guessing there will probably be no explanation for the spotting.

I wish I could be one of those people who has a relatively straightforward, uneventful pregnancy, but I guess that’s not meant to be.  This probably won’t be the only freak-out moment of this pregnancy.  However, I can only hope that things continue to be OK in there.  For now, crisis averted.

17 dpo: the latest developments

So, the saga of my infections continues.  Dr. S called today to say that she got the results of my urine test and it shows signs of a UTI.  I’ve had many UTIs in the past and I certainly don’t have any of the usual symptoms.  But, symptoms or not, she wants to treat it, especially because I’m pregnant.

So, I’ll be heading off to the drugstore to pick up my antibiotic prescription shortly.  Luckily, the antibiotic that has always worked well for my UTIs in the past is one that is perfectly safe in the first trimester.  I kind of hate that I have to take all these drugs right now, but I know that leaving these infections untreated can be dangerous, so I know I need to do it.

Dr. S also asked how the yeast infection was feeling.  I guess it’s a bit better than it was (not a constant burn like a couple of days ago) but it’s definitely not gone and it’s still pretty itchy (yep, I know…gross.)  She said I should use one of the kits that you insert internally over a few days.  I guess I’ll pick some up, since I’ll be at the drugstore anyway.  Man, I’m a freakin’ mess down there.

In happier news, she got the results from my two beta HCG tests this week.  Wednesday (14 dpo) was 126.  Friday (16 dpo) was 299.  Dr. S says this is good and she’s happy with the numbers.  I had to do some reading after I got off the phone with her because I don’t have any experience with betas in the past.  From everything I’ve read, these numbers sound perfectly normal and the doubling time was 36 hours, which appears to be good.

The other good news is that the spotting has stopped.  For the past two days, I’ve had absolutely no spotting.  I can’t even put into words how relieved I am right now.  Off course, I’m still fanatically checking the toilet paper with every wipe and I’m sure I’ll continue to worry about this for a while.

Right after the call from Dr. S, we had to head down the street to our neighbours’ house for a birthday party.  Littleman’s little buddy turned 2 today.  The buddy’s mom, a friend of mine, is pregnant with twins and due right around the same time as our original due date.  Since the miscarriage, it’s always been a bit tough to see her growing belly.  It’s still tough, but knowing that I’m pregnant again made it a bit easier this time.

The birthday party was firetruck-themed and the kids had a great time.  Check out these adorable cookies they gave out:


Littleman and D are having a nap, so I think I’m going to kick up my feet, bust out a cookie and hit the couch with my ereader.  Hopefully, in a couple more days, my crazy body will fight off these infections and get down to the more important business of growing this baby!


Status update: uncomfortable and nervous

Thanks so much to everyone for your kind words and for acknowledging my faint lines!

Things have been a little scary and stressful around here, pretty much since shortly after I posted about my BFP.  It’s been an eventful 48 hours, so this may be a long one.  Here’s what’s been going down…

I got a call back from Dr. P’s office.  He wants me to get a dating ultrasound around 6 weeks.  Other than that, he’ll see me in August.  I was kind of annoyed at first because that is SO far away!  I’ll be 12 weeks when I see him.  But, assuming all is fine during the dating ultrasound, I guess there’s no reason to see him sooner.

About half an hour after I spoke to Dr. P’s receptionist, I went to the ladies room and my heart sank.  Red spotting when I wiped.  Not a ton, but more than I’d had the week before.  It was the day before my period was due and it made me feel sick.  I texted D and told him that I was pretty sure it was over.

I put on a liner, just in case, and kept checking throughout the afternoon.  The colour of the spotting got darker (more of a burgundy/brown) but it was still there.

It’s likely that most of you aren’t terribly squeamish at this point, after all that you’ve been through yourselves, but if you are uncomfortable hearing about secretions or disorders that affect lady parts, you may want to click away now…

So, on top of the spotting, I was also feeling pretty uncomfortable “down there”.  Rewinding to the weekend, I’d had some light spotting and major stinging following intercourse (prior to getting my first BFP).  Since then, I’d had some dull burning when I wiped that seemed to progress throughout the day and into the evening on Tuesday.  I was also noticing some major – wait for it – bum itch.  Yep, gross and uncomfortable is all I can really say about it.  By Wednesday morning, wiping made me want to scream.  Sitting felt awful.  As did walking.  I knew something wasn’t right.

I was pretty sure it wasn’t a UTI.  I’ve had many of those and, while it hurt to pee this time, it was more of an external sting when the pee hit the outside, rather than that internal burn of a UTI.  I’ve also had the odd yeast infection in the past but this seemed a bit different too, with no obvious discharge that I could notice.  And more pain than I remember.

Anyway, I bit the bullet and called Dr. P’s office back yesterday morning.  Unfortunately, he was all booked up and on call so couldn’t see me this week.  They told me to call my family doctor.  Luckily my family doctor, Dr. S, was able to see me yesterday afternoon.  Thank God.

I hadn’t seen Dr. S since before my miscarriage.  The first thing she said to me when I walked into her office was, “so, a lot has happened since I last saw you!”   She had received the reports from Dr. P’s office but she still had me walk her through everything that happened.  She was very kind about it (in that matter-of-fact, miscarriages-happen-to-one-in-five sort of way) and I managed to keep from crying.  She was congratulatory about the current pregnancy and pulled out her little wheel to tell me my due date and how far along I am (like I really need someone to tell me!)

Then she had me hop up on the table for the exam.  Let me just say, there’s nothing like having someone ask you to roll onto your side so they can look in your bum.

She told me it’s a yeast infection and gave me a couple of things to take.  A one-time pill along with a topical cream.  The cream has already changed my life!  Seriously, I can actually sit now.  I’m still in pain and wiping is still a nightmare, but I’m hoping that will change.

She said that it’s possible that the spotting is due to the yeast infection but that we’ll keep an eye on it if it keeps happening.  By the end of day yesterday it had pretty much tapered off and so far I’ve just had some light pink-tinted mucus today.  Nothing major and no need for a liner.

After the exam, she took a urine sample and some blood.  She’s sending me for repeat bloodwork on Friday.

In the meantime, I’ve been using my plethora of internet HPTs every morning to see if the line is getting any darker.  I’ve decided those tests suck (mainly because I really want to see a super dark line!) but I know it’s still early (I’m only 15 dpo today).  The line is definitely a bit darker and shows up way faster than before, but it’s still a bit too light for my liking.

So, there we are.  I’m trying to stay positive and hoping that the spotting is just related to yeast infection and has nothing to do with the contents of my uterus.   I’m cautiously optimistic, as they say, but only time will tell.