Pause

Do you ever wish you could slow down the clock a bit?

I feel like I’ve lived much of my life wishing the time away.  I used to always live my life looking forward to the next exciting thing: weekends, Christmas, vacations, nights out, babies being born…

But now, it feels like time is moving too quickly and I wish there was a way to slow it down!  I feel like I’m in a good place right now and it would be amazing if I could hit a “pause” button so that we could have some more time to just enjoy it.

Since I can’t do that, I’m just trying my best to take everything in and enjoy every moment.  The problem with that?  There are a lot of little tasks that don’t get done.  For example, my house is a disaster.  As I type this, I’m looking at the dust that is covering just about everything.  There are crumbs on the counter and, as always, a huge pile of laundry to fold.  But, since the summer is so short, I’d rather go for a walk with my baby than do housework.  So, the dirt will remain for now.

I also have lots of things I’ve been wanting to write about.  Bo is growing and developing so much and I feel like I need to write it all down so I don’t forget.  We actually got an eight-hour stretch of sleep the other night (yep, eight hours!!) and he’s working so hard at rolling from his back to his front.  He is happy and smiley and so good-natured.  He demands so little attention (which means his older brother doesn’t have to give up being the centre of attention, which he has grown so used to!) and I truly enjoy spending time with him.

Father’s Day has come and gone.  I didn’t even get a chance to acknowledge my husband here.  He’s such a great dad.  Littleman worships him and is such a daddy’s boy.  I love watching how much the boys love their daddy.

I apologize for the scattered thoughts today but my mind is running in a million directions and I feel like I’ve been away from the computer for too long.  I’m still reading blogs everyday but writing posts from my phone during Bo’s feeds is getting harder as he gets bigger.  He eats so quickly and is ready to move on to another activity before I’m done so I find I end up with a bunch of partial posts that never get finished.

So, before this becomes another unfinished post, I will push the “play” button and keep moving.

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Father’s Day

The other night, I sat on the couch watching D and Littleman playing together.  It was pouring rain outside, so the boys were goofing around on the living room floor.  D was pretending to eat Littleman’s tummy and Littleman was laughing that deep, hearty, uncontrollable laugh that only a toddler can do.  His laugh was amazing.  And as I watched them play, I was filled with so much love.

D is an incredible father.  He’s been so hands-on with Littleman, right from the very first moment.  I remember those first couple of nights in the hospital after Littleman was born.  D would take him into the hallway and walk laps to keep him calm.  And, although Littleman never took a bottle so D couldn’t help with feedings, D has always been thoroughly involved in all other aspects of his care.

Now that Littleman is bigger, my two favourite guys are becoming more and more alike.  D is super-handy (in fact, he renovated our entire house a few years ago) and now Littleman loves to pretend he’s fixing things.  He walks around mumbling about his hammer or wrench.  He points out pictures of screwdrivers in the weekly hardware store flyers.  He pushes his stroller around the backyard, pretending he’s cutting the grass.

Since D is a firefighter, there are lots of times when we don’t get to see him.  On those mornings when D is at work, the first thing Littleman asks me upon waking is “what daddy doing?”

Littleman loves his daddy.  And watching D become such an incredible father has made me love him even more.

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Not only do I have a husband who is a wonderful father, but I’m lucky enough to have a great father of my own.  My dad worked long hours when I was a kid, so I didn’t see as much of him as I would have liked.  But, although he worked a lot, he never missed an important event, school concert or party.  He put his work away for our family vacations and loved his time with us on the beach in Maine or on the ski slopes in the winter.

Now that we’re all older – and especially now that we have our family farm – I get to spend a lot more time with my dad.  It’s been amazing getting to know him better as an adult.  We’re very similar in a lot of ways.  I’m sure both D and my mom would love to point out some of our not so flattering similarities: stubbornness and impatience to name a couple!  But we also both enjoy our wine and we love the beach (the sun in particular).  Getting a chance to spend more time together at the farm has been really special.

My dad has also become a huge part of Littleman’s life.  Dad was born in Italy, so Littleman calls him “Nonno.”  I love watching Littleman and his Nonno going for a walk in the fields or checking on the horses.  Nonno will take Littleman to the hardware store to pick up supplies – something he used to do with me when I was a kid.

Littleman is the first grandchild for my parents and I love the fact that he has such a special relationship with them.

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I remember last Father’s Day very clearly.  It was near the end of our first month of TTC baby #2.  Although I didn’t have high expectations, I really hoped that I would be able to give D a positive test for Father’s Day.  I took a test that morning, but got a BFN and AF arrived later that day.

I’m a bit sad that I’m back where I started a year ago.  But I am so happy to have two wonderful fathers in my life.