The bleeding

I apologize in advance if you don’t want to hear about the gory details of my post-D&C bleeding.  I need to write about it for myself so I can remember what happened – and for anyone who is trying to figure out what might be normal after a D&C.  Feel free to click away now!

Anyway, a constant reminder of my loss and subsequent D&C was the bleeding and spotting that followed the surgery.  Over the course of the 2 1/2 weeks following the procedure, my body has played tricks on me.  Some days there would be barely any spotting, leading me to think that everything has made its way out of me.  Then BAM it would come back, heavier than the day before.

I kept a log of my bleeding in my iPhone, so I’d remember in case I needed to tell Dr. P about it.  It started out heavy and bright red on the day of the surgery.  Then it turned lighter, then more like spotting.  It varied in colour.  It was pink, then deeper red, then rust coloured, then brown, then beige.

Each time I’d visit the bathroom, I’d hope to see nothing.  Each time, I’d be disappointed.  Then, one day, I got that Leona Lewis song stuck in my head, “Keep bleeding, I keep keep bleeding…”  Oh man, I had totally lost my mind.

I knew it was probably normal to still be bleeding (although I don’t believe there’s really anything normal about having to deal with this situation at all) but I really wished it would end.  It made it hard to forget what had happened to me, even for a moment, when I continued to bleed.

Finally, it feels safe to say that the bleeding has stopped.  It’s been three days of nothing.   It kind of feels like a milestone.  While I should be celebrating being 17 weeks pregnant today, instead I’m celebrating being three days blood-free.  This isn’t a milestone I ever would have expected (or wanted)  to celebrate, but it’s a milestone nonetheless.  It means I’m taking one small step forward, moving away from the miscarriage toward whatever may come next for me.

Advertisements