After writing about my questionable spotting at 8 dpo, I had one more day of on-and-off spotting and then it was gone.
In the interest of full disclosure here, I broke down and tested on Friday after work. This was two days after the spotting began so I thought maybe, just maybe, there was a chance. With my last pregnancy, I tested positive two days after my spotting. Not this time. It was, as expected (and feared), a BFN. I was only 9 dpo, so I know it was silly to even try testing. Except for in the very early months of trying to conceive baby #1, I never test that early. In fact, most months I don’t bother to test at all. But somehow I have this huge pile of internet tests in my drawer. I totally don’t remember ordering that many and am convinced they mixed up my order and sent me extra HPTs instead of OPKs.
Anyway, the weekend was busy and kept me reasonably distracted. We drove to the farm on Friday night (complete with Littleman getting carsick in the back of my parent’s car…so gross!) and then my aunts and uncles visited us there for a night. D took the weekend off from doing chores at the farm so we got to spend some nice time together. We visited a friend’s farm so Littleman could see the cows and sheep. We stopped at a chip truck for a hot dog. All in all, it was a fun weekend.
On Sunday afternoon, I started to get suspicious that my usual pre-period spotting hadn’t started yet. I was 11 dpo. I tried to resist the urge to test again, but with that stupid pile of tests just sitting there and it being Father’s Day, I ended up going for it. I mean, wouldn’t a BFP be a great Father’s Day gift? Immediately after I dipped the test stick, I started kicking myself for putting myself through the torture of another negative test. But then, right around the five-minute mark, I saw this:
Do you see it? I barely did and thought that perhaps I was making things up. So, rather than showing D (who I knew wouldn’t believe it because it was so faint) I did what any crazy, stressed-out, trying-to-conceive woman would do. I posted it on canyouseealine.com for a bunch of crazy, stressed-out, trying-to-conceive strangers to judge.
I decided to keep this possible positive to myself until I had more firm confirmation. I woke up yesterday morning (12 dpo) and tried again with the internet tests. Twice (yep, I’m crazy like that). Still pretty faint and didn’t show up until five minutes or so, but I was pretty sure I could see something:
I decided it was time to bring out the serious equipment, so I hit up the drug store for some (nauseatingly expensive) FRERs and a Clear Blue Digital. I knew I wouldn’t be able to wait until morning, so I faked it by not drinking or peeing all afternoon. I snuck into the bathroom as soon as I got home, while D was busy washing some windows. I took one of the FRERs and got this:
Woohoo, this is real! Holy shit, this is real. I told D that I had forgotten to give him one of his Father’s Day presents and handed him the test. He broke into huge grin and said, “First try? Really?” I’m pretty sure he was as shocked as I was.
So here we are. Am I excited? Not sure yet. I want to be. Am I nervous? Definitely. D and I talked a bit about it last night and I think we both feel the same way. We’re obviously happy and hopeful but we know now that things can go wrong. I guess you could say we’ve lost our innocence.
I’ve left a message for Dr. P’s office and we’ll see what he has to say about next steps. I’m definitely a little shaky and freaking out a bit. But, for now it seems that I’m pregnant!