It’s back to work for me tomorrow and the nerves are really starting to set in.
I’ve done everything I can do to get ready. The freezer is stocked with meals. The fridge and pantry are full of fresh food. My work friends have planned lunch for my first day, so I don’t need to worry about bringing something to eat.
Laundry is done. I cleaned out my purse. I packed a bag of shoes (for those who don’t live in a cold climate or take public transit, this is because I have to wear winter boots for my commute!)
Mom took me shopping for my birthday and bought me a new black suit, as well as a great dress. Along with the few things I bought at the outlet mall in Florida, I’m feeling pretty good about my back-to-work wardrobe. I tried on a few combinations so I know I can get through the first week without having to do much thinking about getting dressed.
I found a MAC gift card in my wallet (from who knows when?) and got myself a new lipstick. My nails are painted.
So, that’s it. There’s nothing more I can do. Except worry, of course. I worry about my boys. Being away from them sucks. I worry about having so little time together. I hate knowing that our evenings are so short and that our time together will always feel rushed. I worry about work. I feel like I’ve lost some of my spark and I’m just not as sharp or quick on my feet as I used to be. I worry that I’m not going to be able to keep up with the expectations that my new bosses will have. I worry about not being able to keep the house organized. Laundry, cleaning, cooking…
All of this, of course, is nothing new. Moms go back to work after having children all the time. I’ve done this before. I know it will be hard and I also know that I will get through it. I know that I will have moments where I suck at being a mom and I suck at doing my job. But I also know that I need to go easy on myself at first because it will get easier.