Should I keep writing?

I wrote my first post on this blog a year ago.  I was sitting at home, struggling to recover from the biggest hit I’d ever taken.  My body healed pretty quickly after my D&C, but my soul was crushed.  My husband went back to work and my toddler was in daycare.  I sat at home and wondered how I was going to move forward after losing what would have been our second baby.

That was when I found the online community of bloggers who had been through or were currently experiencing exactly what I was dealing with (or worse).  I have some amazing friends and family in real life – all of whom were incredibly supportive – but what I really needed were people who had been there.  I needed people who weren’t going to say things like “at least you know you can get pregnant” or “you can always try again.”  I needed to see that other women had dealt with this kind of pain and had survived to tell about it.

When I started writing my story, I was blown away by the kindness of the strangers who reached out to me to show their support (you know who you are!)  These people really helped me to realize that it would take some time – a long time – to come to terms with my loss.  And that it was ok to be sad.

Today, I find myself in strange position.  It’s been a year since my miscarriage. A year since I started this blog. I’m at home caring for my second son, my “rainbow” baby, who is an amazingly sweet little boy.  But that doesn’t mean that I’m over it.

I’m not ready to walk away from this community of support.  I’m not ready to stop writing.  But my life is different now.  I’m not constantly struggling with the pain of my pregnancy loss.  I’m not trying to get pregnant or worrying that something will go wrong with my pregnancy.  In fact, things are pretty darn good. 

I started writing in this space for me, as a way to manage my own thoughts and feelings.  At some point, blogging morphed into more of a conversation with others, which I really love.  So do I keep writing, even though my story has changed?  Does anybody care about life with my two boys?  I guess the answer is that I care and as long as I do, I will keep writing here.  I hope others will stick around for the journey.

 

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4 thoughts on “Should I keep writing?

  1. My story has changed, too. And so has my blog as a result. And that’s ok. Those of us that have followed you for the last year are invested- we want to read about your life, even if the reason you started writing isn’t the reason you continue to write. I, for one, will still be here. 🙂

  2. Keep writing. I started my blog with no expectations of having any readers; I was doing it for me. If writing helps you, you enjoy it, or it keeps you sane, then do it just for you.

  3. I think that blogs in nature change, especially those that deal with pregnancy loss or infertility. The ultimate goal is to get pregnant and to carry a healthy baby to term, so of course your blog is going to change. You can’t expect yourself or your life to be the same as it was a year ago, and I think it would be unfair for your readers to expect that of you. Keep writing if you want to; you may lose touch with readers that you were originally close to, but you’ll find another group that will become your support system. I will still be reading.

  4. I will still be reading, especially because I have two boys too 🙂 I’ve been trying to figure out where I want my blogging to take me lately.

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