Where we were last year

One year ago today, we found out that I had miscarried.  I woke up that morning and went to work,  14 weeks 1 day pregnant.  A few hours later, I found out that my baby had died.

This morning, D and I talked about that horrible day.  In some ways it feels like it was a long, long time ago.  In other ways, it feels like just yesterday.  I still find it hard to believe that it happened to us.  Losing Puppet was, by far, the hardest thing I’ve ever dealt with and it took me a long time to come to grips with it.

Now that Baby Bo is here, it makes our feelings about what happened seem even more complex.  I still wonder about the baby that we lost.  He or she would be six months old now.  Who was that little person?

But, of course, if we hadn’t lost Puppet, we wouldn’t have Bo.  And as I watch him sleeping in his chair right now, I can’t imagine life without him.

So today I will remember our angel, Puppet, and be thankful that we have been blessed with our rainbow, Bo.  Both of them are part of our family in their own way and I love them.

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3 thoughts on “Where we were last year

  1. Sending you hugs on this anniversary of Puppet. It is complex when you know that one child wouldn’t exist if the other had lived. I’ve stopped trying to come to terms with making sense of that and just know that I want all my kids here with me.

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