It’s been seven months since we found out that we lost our baby, Puppet. Sometimes, when I think about it, it’s hard to believe that actually happened. I recently went back and read some of my early blog posts, written when everything was still so raw. I’ve come a long way since then, but reading those words still brings back a lot of the pain from that time.
So, here I am 100 posts later. Instead of having a one-month-old baby at home, I’m five months pregnant. Instead of being a blissful (and sleep-deprived) parent of two, I’m a miscarriage survivor, who constantly worries that something will go wrong again. I wouldn’t wish that situation on anyone, but I feel that it has made me stronger in some ways. I realize how precious life is and how easily bad things can happen. I also realize how lucky I am to have my Littleman and to be having a (so far) successful pregnancy.
I feel like I have a lot of things that I want to write about and I just can’t find the time. Here’s a quick snippet of what’s going on these days:
- I missed my 21 week update on Wednesday because I was home with a brutal headache. My Tylenol and coffee trick didn’t work so I spent most of the day in bed, nauseous and miserable.
- There’s a man on the loose in our neighbourhood who is wanted by police for threats to elementary school children, among other things. It turns out that he is a dad of a child in our daycare. The daycare (and all the schools/daycares in the area) are taking many precautions but it is still really scary.
- I bought a maternity winter coat the other day. It’s big, black and puffy. I bought the cheapest one I could find (thank you, Old Navy) and apparently the ugliest too. When I put it on for him, Littleman said, “that’s not pretty!”
- Speaking of Littleman, he got invited to a birthday party this weekend. He’s been to birthday parties for family and family friends, but this is the first invitation he’s received for a kid that we (i.e. mom and dad) don’t know. It’s a little boy from his daycare class. He’s so excited to go, but I can’t help feeling like he’s growing up too fast!
Hopefully I’ll have some time in the next little while to write about some of the things that have been on my mind lately: exercise, breastfeeding, support from family, etc. Until then, thanks to all of you who’ve been around for my journey these past several months.