My cycle in feelings

I’m feeling a bit down today.  In fact, I’ve been feeling pretty blah all weekend.  Perhaps it’s because my fertile time is approaching and I can’t really believe that I have to go through the stress of trying to conceive all over again.

It’s been a few months (six to be exact) since we were last trying to conceive.  But I haven’t forgotten for a second how I felt during of each of the months that we tried.  Aside from the first couple months of trying the first time around (back when I was naïve and thought we would be successful right away), all the other months have felt pretty much the same.  It usually goes something like this:

CD 1-5: disappointed, sad, grumpy, bitchy

CD 6-15: bored, impatient

CD 16-20: watchful, excited, ready, tired, sore

CD 21-28: relieved, optimistic, hopeful, anxious, nervous

CD: 29-32: pessimistic, scared, a teeny bit hopeful…disappointed

Then it starts all over again.  And repeats like a broken record.  Or that scene in European Vacation where Clark Griswold drives in circles because he can’t figure out how to get out of the roundabout.

Now that I’m back here, I hope with all my heart that I don’t get stuck in that loop again.  Because, aside from a little bit of excitement and the teeniest sliver of hope, the rest of those feelings are pretty damn miserable.

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3 thoughts on “My cycle in feelings

  1. Thinking of you and sending you hugs. I don’t think those that haven’t deal with struggles related to pregnancy understand the rollercoaster of emotions that is trying to conceive, and all the emotions that can be felt in one short month.

  2. What a hilarious coincidence- I’m watching that movie right now!!!

    I feel for you. I’ve been there, and that loop is almost impossible to bust out of. Especially once you know and understand your cycle. Hugs to you… hang in there!

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