The moment everything changes

Even if you suspect that there could be something wrong with your pregnancy, or even if you are the biggest worrier on the planet, I don’t think you can ever prepare yourself for the moment the doctor tells you the baby is gone.

My mom and I sat in the waiting area at the hospital for my ultrasound appointment.  When the tech came to get me, I told to my mom to wait, that I could go on my own.  As soon as I got up on the table and the tech put the probe on my stomach, I knew it was over.  Her face literally deflated.  She didn’t say anything but her expression said it all.  She told me to wait there and left the room for a moment.  It felt like an eternity, but a minute later she returned with one of the high-risk OBs that I remember from our time at the hospital when pregnant with our son.  “I’m sorry I have some bad news,” he said.  “It’s a miscarriage.  The baby has died.”

This is the part that keeps replaying in my head when I close my eyes.  Even though I knew it was coming before he entered the room, those words remain so clear.  I don’t know exactly what I said at that point.  I know that the tech went to get my mom and that they told me I would go see my OB, Dr. P.  I called to D to tell him the news, but again, I can’t really remember the conversation.


4 thoughts on “The moment everything changes

  1. I am so sorry for your loss. I recently went through a similar experience — I had a missed miscarriage in February that terminated with medication and then a D&C a couple of weeks ago. It’s an awful, gaping wound in my heart and I’m sure yours too. Hugs xo

    • Thanks Lauren. I’ve just checked out your blog. It really helps to see that others have gone through similar experiences and understand the pain. All the best to you!

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